Well This is Awkward...

So, remember my emotional post from  just yesterday? Yes? Well this is awkward, but scratch that.
I'm sorting of touching wood as I say this but Mia has basically decided she doesn't want to go back after all. Hurrah!
Although I should point out it's not just for me, and it's not just for a boy or her many wonderful friends, when we went through it with a fine tooth comb it didn't add up as a good career decision. The new job was in a restaurant, nicely paid but no experience that goes towards a legal career like her current job as a court runner and receptionist at a law firm. So it's win win, although, eek her mum is going to be maaad. The thing that was most striking I guess is that as soon as she decided to stay she said she felt relief. Not happiness like she'd gone from neutral to 'yey good decision', but relief like going was something she was actively unhappy about and now she's calm again. That must be a good sign, surely? 
In terms of where that leaves me, obviously ecstatic, I'm not an idiot I know we're going to have to say goodbye eventually in just a few short months, but a few months with your best friend are of huge value I'd say. 
In my eyes she can't leave now anyway, we just ordered a mammoth food shop. The kitchen is literally going to overflow. 

'Like Stars'

Ok deep breath. This is going to be a tough one.

On New Years Eve my best friend Mia got offered a new job, since she currently lives with me I heard the girlish squeals of excitement from a mile off. Before I go any further let me say I am so proud and happy for her and I will only ever want the best for her. She deserves absolutely nothing less. But like I said it's a tough one, the new job means she's leaving the UK and returning to her home in Denmark. It was always going to happen, I knew that, and even if she wasn't the first to go I know I'll soon be leaving Edinburgh too. I was expecting that. But I wasn't ready for it to be so soon, I thought I had several months to deal with it, that it was still a while off and I'd be fine. She leaves in one month. Just one lousy month. I wasn't expecting that.

How do you say good bye to your best friend?

It's not good bye forever, but it is still good bye for I don't know how long. How do I even attempt to explain why this hurts as much as it does? She is my voice of reason whilst simultaneously saying exactly what I need or sometimes want to hear, she is beautiful, funny, caring and one of a kind. It's rare I go a day without seeing her, rarer still that we go a day without speaking. I've told myself all the sensible and comforting things I'd tell anyone else in the same situation, it's not the end of your friendship, don't be silly, don't overreact, the world's a much smaller place now, you'll see each other still. It doesn't work though. How lonely will life be without her? I'm wallowing, I'm scared and I know I'll have to go 'chin up and carry on' soon but whilst my adult head is saying all the right things my heart is begging please don't leave me, I still need you.

If I was forcing myself to play the Glad Game, which I'm going to have to because I can't carry on like this much longer welling up every two minutes, then I'd say how insanely lucky am I to have met someone like her? I have countless happy memories with her that aren't going anywhere. And I guess the world isn't so big after all. She'll be there for me and I'll be there for her.

'True friends are like stars, you might not always see them but you know they are always there'.

There I did it, played the Glad Game, meh. I don't know what else to say. I'll miss you Mims. So much more than I'll be able to explain without breaking down in a heap on your shoulder, and I'm sorry if I can't deal with it well or with dry eyes. You are a wonderful friend and amazing things are going to happen to you, I hope and have faith that I'll be there for all of them, even if only at the end of the phone.

This One's For The Girls

This snip-it is inspired by two things; firstly a song by Martina McBride (I'm a little bit country at heart) which in spite of myself I love. But mostly by 'the Ilkley girls’, AKA the Bridge Club or just ‘my girls’. 

The Bridge Club is simply a nickname for my friendship group of lovely ladies back home; Danielle, Amy, Pittsy, Helene, Jess, Hannah, Grace, Ellen and I. I could write endless stories about them: one each, stories, songs, trips, moments, dramas, sayings and more. So it's hard to decide where to start. I suppose at the beginning makes most sense, but that history would take forever. Instead I’ll settle for bragging about them a little. A bit like when I had to introduce ExpressLD, here's 'Introducing The Girls!' 

First off, to save me repeating myself all are loyal, kind, beautiful and hilarious. It’s not easy to explain how lucky I have been to grow up with these girls as my friends, but here’s me trying to anyway.

Lets be honest, over the years we have fought like hell amongst ourselves, to the point that quite successfully and justifiably we developed a reputation in our small home town for dramatics. But then again, I don’t really care. I would take every drama a thousand times over to know that no matter what happens to me, my friends are going to be there. From uni stress, work drama, boy trouble, family upheaval to just general chit chat, come hell or high water we are there for each other. Like having a great big safety net of cuddles, giggles and gossip. I don't of know of any other group of friends so big who have displayed the loyalty we have through all these years and ups and downs but still are as close as they were at 16.

So, simply put, love you girlies! 

I so wish I had just one photo to put up of us all together!