'Like Stars'

Ok deep breath. This is going to be a tough one.

On New Years Eve my best friend Mia got offered a new job, since she currently lives with me I heard the girlish squeals of excitement from a mile off. Before I go any further let me say I am so proud and happy for her and I will only ever want the best for her. She deserves absolutely nothing less. But like I said it's a tough one, the new job means she's leaving the UK and returning to her home in Denmark. It was always going to happen, I knew that, and even if she wasn't the first to go I know I'll soon be leaving Edinburgh too. I was expecting that. But I wasn't ready for it to be so soon, I thought I had several months to deal with it, that it was still a while off and I'd be fine. She leaves in one month. Just one lousy month. I wasn't expecting that.

How do you say good bye to your best friend?

It's not good bye forever, but it is still good bye for I don't know how long. How do I even attempt to explain why this hurts as much as it does? She is my voice of reason whilst simultaneously saying exactly what I need or sometimes want to hear, she is beautiful, funny, caring and one of a kind. It's rare I go a day without seeing her, rarer still that we go a day without speaking. I've told myself all the sensible and comforting things I'd tell anyone else in the same situation, it's not the end of your friendship, don't be silly, don't overreact, the world's a much smaller place now, you'll see each other still. It doesn't work though. How lonely will life be without her? I'm wallowing, I'm scared and I know I'll have to go 'chin up and carry on' soon but whilst my adult head is saying all the right things my heart is begging please don't leave me, I still need you.

If I was forcing myself to play the Glad Game, which I'm going to have to because I can't carry on like this much longer welling up every two minutes, then I'd say how insanely lucky am I to have met someone like her? I have countless happy memories with her that aren't going anywhere. And I guess the world isn't so big after all. She'll be there for me and I'll be there for her.

'True friends are like stars, you might not always see them but you know they are always there'.

There I did it, played the Glad Game, meh. I don't know what else to say. I'll miss you Mims. So much more than I'll be able to explain without breaking down in a heap on your shoulder, and I'm sorry if I can't deal with it well or with dry eyes. You are a wonderful friend and amazing things are going to happen to you, I hope and have faith that I'll be there for all of them, even if only at the end of the phone.